Spend a night in a Capsule Hotel. You’ll never forget it. From the moment you step into the foyer of a Capsule Hotel you realise you are in for something different. There is a large sign that says, “Please take off shoes” in large Japanese characters and underneath that, “Please put shoes in the shoebox.” If, like me, you didn’t read the large sign and walked up to the reception desk without removing your shoes, you will be confronted by a sea of panicked Japanese faces wildly waving their arms at you. Imagining there was a bomb in the foyer, I was just about to hit the deck when a kind English speaking person whispered, “quick take your shoes off!”. My deck hitting posture was quickly converted into repeated bowing while stepping backwards out of the danger zone.  Once my shoes were locked away in shoebox number 135 the business of checking in could begin. As with most hotels in Japan foreigners are required to provide their passport at check-in. You are given a capsule key in a red plastic waterproof container that you wear around your neck.

Once you’ve located your capsule, it’s time to slip into something more comfortable. That something is, the one size fits all, Yukata. More about that later. The capsule itself, is a self contained sleeping compartment complete with TV, reading light, air conditioning, clock, radio, mattress and rice husk pillow. Being over 6ft I imagined I would have to sleep in a fetal position to fit, however to my surprise there was plenty of room to stretch and roll in comfort.

As the capsule hotels are frequented primarily by Japanese businessmen who stay unplanned. The hotel provides everything you need for an overnight stay. The Yukata, is the Japanese equivalent of what we call pyjamas. One size fits all - all Japanese people, that is. Made from a light brushed cotton and embroidered with the hotel name, they are a striking fashion statement and proved to be very comfortable night attire.

Getting clean is a unique experience and one we grew to love. Here’s how you do it. Wearing your Yukata you stroll down to the change rooms. On the way you pass the TV lounge, a large room with four large flat wall mounted flat screen TVs with three rows of six large recliner chairs that resemble first class airline seats. On arriving at the change rooms you remove your Yukata and neatly place it in the locker provided. Now naked, except for the locker key which you are wearing around your wrist, and a very small handkerchief sized towel, you stroll confidently towards the Sento bath area. You walk casually, endeavoring to maintain your dignity by looking others you meet directly in the eye and holding their gaze so it doesn’t drop below chest height. This coupled with skillful positioning of the tiny hanky towel gets you to the pre-bathing area with your privates still kept pretty private. Once in the pre-bathing area get ready to say goodbye to your dignity because it, like you, is about to take a holiday.

Here’s what happens next……and I’ll break it down into 19 simple steps for you.
Step 1. Choose a small plastic stool from the neat stack in the washing area.
Step 2. Pick a plastic bowl from the stack next to the stools.
Step 3. Take a yellow scrubbing cloth from the pile next to the plastic bowls.
Step 4. Choose a spot in the line of shower heads.
Step 5. Sit on your little plastic stool.
Step 6. Place your plastic bowl in front of you, turn the knob on the shower head so the water comes out of the spout and fill your bowl with water.
Step 7. Use the shaving foam to lather your face and shave with the disposable razor.
Step 8. Pump some body wash out of the large container in front of you and scrub yourself with the yellow scrubbing cloth.
Step 9. Wash your hair with the shampoo and conditioner also in large pump bottles.
Step 10. Wash yourself down with the hand held shower head.
Step 11. Do step 8 again and again and again. The soap smells really good and the yellow scrubbing cloth is magic.
Step 12. Once you have rinsed off the top 150 layers of skin you have removed with the yellow scrubbing cloth take the hanky sized towel, fold it in half and place it on your head.
Step 13. Walk gracefully to the Sento (communal bath) balancing the towel on your head (great for posture and a bit easier than a book) and slither quietly into the hot bath.
Step 14. Sit against the wall of the bath with your feet towards the centre. Try to avoid your feet touching the feet of another man. Avoid eye contact with other men in the bath. If you inadvertently find yourself catching someone’s eye look at the towel on their head instead of their eyes and then shut you eyes and lay your head back slightly as though you are relaxing.
Step 15. Once you have finished pretending to be relaxed. Roll over, turn towards the wall and stand up slowly, taking the towel from your head and moving it towards your privates in one smooth action. Do not under any circumstances be temped to blow your nose with it on the way past.
Step 16. Walk to the “lost in space” shower. I call it the “lost in space” shower because it looks for all the world like the elevator on the Jupiter II in the 1970 TV series “Lost in Space”- (See picture below). 

Anyway, once in the shower press the big red button and you will be sprayed with water from every direction possible.
Step 17. Leave the shower. Walk to the smaller bath (the one with the cold water), pick up the large ladle, fill it with cold water, lift it above your head and pour it all over yourself. Try not to make a squealing sound when you do this.
Step 18. Leave the wet area for the drying room where you can upgrade your hanky towel to a tea towel sized towel. Dry yourself vigorously being careful not to accidentally flick your locker key off your wrist and lose it in a pile of towels. If this happens you have two choices. Choice A: stand there naked digging through a pile of towels while the little Japanese woman who pops in every so often to clean and replenish the towels starts folding the towels you have messed up in your hunt for the key.  OR Choice B: take two tea towel sized towels (one for the front and one for the back) and climb the three flights of stairs past the TV lounge and the restaurant to your capsule.
Step 19. If you haven’t lost your locker key, open your locker slip back into your Yukata, douse yourself with some cologne and head back to the privacy of your capsule.

If you follow these simple steps we guarantee you will feel cleaner than you have ever felt in your entire life.

How much will it cost?

Prices vary depending on which city you are in. In Osaka it cost us 3500 Yen a night, that’s around $35 AUD. We think it’s fantastic value considering it includes everything, even a traditional breakfast. Family rooms are available, although they are not really designed for families, more for businessmen who want privacy and to play Mahjong. Our room had four capsules, a separate bed in the room and an automatic Mahjong table.